Update on this Stranger Called Vanessa - Entry for March 14, 2008

The New Place and Job
I have been living a completely different life since I moved. The stress level that I felt before the move has all but evaporated. I no longer have the 3-4 hour daily commute, and I get home with plenty of time to help with homework, play with, eat dinner with, and bathe my boys. My furniture has been put in storage. That was a bittersweet moment because I worked so hard to buy it. My commute is actually 12-30 minutes now.

My new employer and colleagues are great! I feel so appreciated here and have a lot to offer their office. They want me to redesign the website, the internal site, and to implement new procedures to streamline their projects. As the Project Coordinator, I set the pace in how projects get processed. It’s an exciting feeling.

Aunt
My aunt has facilitated my new move greatly. She cares for me and for my children as though we were her children. I have never felt so cared for in my life. I fear displeasing her and making her not love me anymore – the reaction of a child. In many ways, she has shown me more consideration and affection than my own mother.

I wish I could do more to make her life easier. She has taken on the task of caring for my sons after they get out of school, and is also the nurse of my grandmother. I try to make sure my boys get out of both their way, but my aunt says they are a break from caring for her mother.

Grandmother
My grandmother has had a problem with her blood pressure for 2 years now and was diagnosed 2 days ago with Stage 3 kidney disease, bordering on Stage 4. Her condition has depressed and demoralized her because she used to be so active. She was part of the Red Hat Society, and they would go to various events, take trips to different parts of the world, and march in parades.
Being around my grandmother has been good despite her illness. She has seen so much in this world and is so accomplished. She was a nurse in WWII, then a nurse in doctors’ offices and hospitals, eventually becoming the head nurse of her hospital. When she was 60-something, she got her Master’s degree in hospital administration. She’s traveled to every continent except Antarctica. It is fascinating to talk with her.

Niece
My younger sister had a baby girl, Milagros (which means miracles) on Monday at 3:00 pm (15:00). She weighed 7lbs, 9oz. My sister is in New York City, so I hope I can take a trip there in the near future to see my new niece. Very exciting stuff.

Sons
My younger boy has begun reading! He has always been a bit behind the other children his age, but he has started taking an interest in reading. I am so very proud of him. I have been giving him spelling tests at home, and twice he has gotten 9/10 correct. WOW! This new school/teacher has given him so much confidence. They believe he can do more than what he was doing before just as I believed it. I just never had the time to show him more. Now I do! We do homework together every night, and he writes, reads, and sight reads many words.

My older son, the one who thinks he is 20 years old, has plunged himself in Neopets, a website where you create virtual pets. I limit his time on this game website because I know of certain individuals who immerse themselves at the detriment to all else. He loves it and I believe it has unlocked his creativity. He wrote a story about a 3-foot butterfly that became the protector of all the butterflies. He battled an eagle, then a whole eagle army. I am so proud of both of them.

Those are all the updates for now.

Keep on Trucking -- Entry for February 12, 2008

As some of you know, I am making another move in my life. I have taken a job in Orange County and will be starting there on February 25th. It was not a decision I made lightly, but one that had to be made so that I could have more time with my sons. Commuting 3-4 hours every day was difficult on them and myself.

I have been making a lot of moves in the last year, but I think that my life is finally getting on the track that I want it to be. There are times that I despair and think that I made the wrong choices; that I would have been happier if I was still in Bakersfield, in my own home, and doing the things I used to before. I would right now be working on the newsletters that had to get out this month, and I would be working on the website. In one hour, I would be going out to lunch with either Ed, Hector, Clare, Nina, or Nancy, and I would be driving home at 5 to pick up my older son from school, and the little one from his babysitter.

But then I think about the past 7 months, and I realize that my life has never been so full. I have seen and done so many things that would have been unimaginable a year ago. I visited the East Coast, I had a boyfriend for a brief while, I saw my first opera, I met two online friends, I have gone to parties and clubs with family, I reconnected and connected with family members that I did not know I had. The list can get more detailed, but the fact is, since I moved to the Los Angeles area, I have felt more alive.

I have also felt like a better mother. My sons and I have gone to the park more and have gotten out of the house and visited with family members. They know that their family net is a large and far-reaching one. I have taught my older son how to play chess, and he can now navigate around the computer and internet like a pro. My younger son has been put into an educational program that has helped him grow and I feel more confident that I can advocate for him.*smiles*

New Year's Gift - My Hair - Entry for December 26, 2007

I donated my hair to Locks of Love, an organization that collects donations of hair to make wigs for children who have cancer and other diseases who have lost their hair.

Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. We meet a unique need for children by using donated hair to create the highest quality hair prosthetics. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair due to a medical condition called alopecia areata, which has no known cause or cure. The prostheses we provide help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence, enabling them to face the world and their peers.

I have thought about donating my hair for a while now. It had grown so long that I was starting to sit upon it (an annoying thing). In truth, my hair was a major vanity of mine. Strangers (usually women) would come up to me and say how beautiful it was. I liked that. But the need to change it, to cut it, became very strong. I would drive by a hair salon, wanting to go in, but not having the courage to do so. If I was going to cut my hair, I wanted it to have meaning. Perhaps that is a bit presumptuous of me, but I wanted it to matter. Here I had all this hair, and there were children out there who were losing theres. Locks of Love was the perfect solution.

It feels strange to have short hair. I did not want it quite so short, but oh well. It makes my head feel light.

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I have not written in so long. I have so much to say. Perhaps I will have some more blogs by the end of this week.